Last Laps

      Have you ever ran a race? If you have you know the last couple yards/laps are always the hardest. You can see the end but you aren't quite there yet. you are exhausted and your body is running out of endurance. You want to give up but you've come this far that there is no point in quitting.  Thats how the last 3 weeks before exams feels. This semester has been crazy to say the least. Fun Fact : Do not ever schedule classes from 9:30 to 6:15 every day, especially if you are an art major.
     So I am tired and busy. Right now the stress isn't on yet, but it is around the corner. An exam, presentation, and research project all next week and thats not counting the art projects that are bound to be assigned. The other day I organized my sock and underwear drawer for fun just to put off doing homework.
    While I am here trying to finish the semester out strong, God is working in my heart. You see I've become a professional at making to do list. It works to keep stress down when I know I can cross something off and say finished. While I've been listing away and creating art though I've been slowly shutting people out. I've been bitter at all my friends who are off doing fun things and I can't do them because I have art projects that I know I do not need to say up till 5 in the morning doing. (I have done that before and Becky on 2 hours of sleep doesn't handle the world well.) Then when I am around them its no fun because I am tired or whatever. I don't think there has been many times that I have been able to fully relax. When I am off having fun or chilling in my dorm I am thinking about all the work I am not doing and when I am doing my work I am thinking about all the time I don't have to do everything I want to do and losing sleep by the hour. Half the time I walk around campus wondering if I even put my shirt on correctly. Its an endless cycle of stress and anxiety. So God is working in me. Im trying my best to give it to him, to not shut people out, and to realize that I am doing my best with the situation I am in. Even though it is hard to let people help when they are non art majors. (Fact: Never ever say "oh thats a good thing" or "that sounds so much easier" when an art major is explaining projects. Its never as easy or good as it sounds.).
   I am honestly sad that the end of my freshman year is almost over and I am not looking forward to going home for a whole summer (Sorry Mom and Dad). However, I am looking forward and running through the finish line. 4 and a half weeks. I can do this.