"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9
This past semester has been a whirlwind for me. So many emotions and so many struggles, much tiredness, long to do list and little time to complete it all.
Last week I attended RUF's summer conference, week 2, in panama city. I prayed for many answers. I prayed for the area of my life to be revealed that was the source of this new frustration I've seemed to find.
I had, without realizing it, let my guard down and given the enemy a foot hold for destruction.
Rather than rejoicing in Gods grace I was reminded of my failures and my inability to be perfect.
You see I have expectations of who I should be.
I should be this happy person filled with Gods joy all the time. I should be so wrapped up in God everyone can see it. I should thrive as an artist and be joyful in every project. I should be happy and bubbly even on the nights I get 3 hours of sleep. I should be reading my bible 50 times a day because it is THAT good. I should have my life together and not worry about the future. I should not be distracted by males of any form of attractiveness. I should not be jealous, or lonely. I should be a perfect best friend and student. I should not be holding on to pain from a broken relationship years ago. I should be well rounded and try everything (and be good at it). I should manage my money better. I should take better care of my body by eating better and working out more. I should be the perfect example of a proverbs 31 women. I should be all these things… but I forgot one thing.
I am human and I am not in control.
I am NOT happy all the time, especially when I get 3 hours of sleep. Drawing mugs at 2 in the morning makes me very bitter. I struggle and fail God daily to do basic things for his kingdom. I do not have my life together and when I am not resting in Gods presence I am anxious about the future and fear failing. I have my own baggage to bring to the table of fears and disappointments, but its made me who I am. I have a heart and its been broken by friendships. Despite the fact that I don't want to date right now I do struggle with constantly being the 3rd, 5th, or even 7th wheel. I suck at drawing and I'm learning how to be okay with it. I like junk food and will stuff my face with it when I am stressed.
If we aren't constantly reminded of Gods truth, grace, and love... If we aren't constantly living it out than we are reminded of who we are, who we were, and who we "should" be by the enemy. The enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10)
If we aren't constantly reminded of Gods truth, grace, and love... If we aren't constantly living it out than we are reminded of who we are, who we were, and who we "should" be by the enemy. The enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10)
God knows me.
He cares about the little things in life.
He supports me in what he has called me to do.
He feeds and provides for me spiritually.
He is the ultimate friend you could need.
Its amazing how letting your guard down for even the slightest bit of time can allow the enemy to creep in and spit to you lies that you believe. The only way to combat the lies is with the truth.
I am loved by a savior who is able to do more than I can imagine. (Ephesians 3:20 )
I am not called to be the perfect christian girl. I am not even called to be strong because I have a savior who's power is made perfect in weakness. ( 2 Corinthians 12:9 )
I have a Savior who will never leave me nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5)
He chose me. (1 Peter 2:9)
I can do anything because of who I serve and follow. (Philippians 4:13)
I don't have to carry any burden alone because God cares… even about little things like (what I think are) failed art projects. (1 Peter 5:7)
He already took the bullet for me despite the fact that I fail him every day. (Romans 5:8)
I can't be separated from him. (Romans 8:35-36)
He heals broken hearts. (Psalm 147:3)
He is constant. (Hebrews 13:8)
Here is to deconstructing lies and moving forward. Here is to completing my first year at WU and the adventures it brought. Heres to Gods provision on my life and his ability to use my weakness in big ways this past semester. Lastly, here is to the growth that comes out of what I think is failure. No matter how far you go, how blind you become, or how hardened your heart is you can find healing and there is hope.
He chose me. (1 Peter 2:9)
I can do anything because of who I serve and follow. (Philippians 4:13)
I don't have to carry any burden alone because God cares… even about little things like (what I think are) failed art projects. (1 Peter 5:7)
He already took the bullet for me despite the fact that I fail him every day. (Romans 5:8)
I can't be separated from him. (Romans 8:35-36)
He heals broken hearts. (Psalm 147:3)
He is constant. (Hebrews 13:8)
Here is to deconstructing lies and moving forward. Here is to completing my first year at WU and the adventures it brought. Heres to Gods provision on my life and his ability to use my weakness in big ways this past semester. Lastly, here is to the growth that comes out of what I think is failure. No matter how far you go, how blind you become, or how hardened your heart is you can find healing and there is hope.
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