I am bent, not Broken

 For the past 5 years I have lived with scoliosis.

                        I have grown to learn that for those who don't live with scoliosis can not really relate or sympathize with you. Which at times can be extremely frustrating. I've spend most of my high school life insecure and trying to hide the fact that my spine is curvy.

                             One thing I love about Scoliosis is each curve is unique and is handled differently. My Curve is currently at 47.3 degrees. Don't ask me how they measure it computers do the math and I just trust they know what they are doing. Technically my curve can be considered severe seeing how it is nearing the 50 degree mark. My curve is also located in the Thoracic part of my spine with a little baby curve in my Lumbar, but not enough to show concern. Hey im just a curvy gal right? 

                    Having Scoliosis sucks because there is pain involved. Constant pressure on your back and some days your left feeling sore for no reason down your spine. Not to mention every physical activity you do you are reminded of the fact that your spine is curved. Sometimes you are physically limited too. There aren't many treatments for scoliosis other than a brace and surgery. Neither of which is a pleasant option.

Currently surgery is not an option for me. The risk of a spine fusion out ways the current symptoms I have and a brace will no longer serve a useful purpose other than social embarrassment because I am no longer growing. So all I can do is just live with it and find a way to accept it. Which isn't always easy. Nobody likes to look in the mirror and see something abnormal. It is human nature to reject our flaws and want to cover them up.

                          Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like with out scoliosis or how I'd look at myself and how that would have effected my friendships. I wonder where that would have taken me in dance and soccer... If it even effected that. But then I take a step back and realize who I am and I can't imagine my life with out it. It is a apart of me. A part that I am learning to embrace and accept. Scoliosis has actually helped me with modesty and helped me to relate to others. It has created a desire In me to help others feel good about themselves. A desire I put to use through my photography. It has shown me how awesome my friends are and given me the urge to fight it and be stronger than it.

                   I am stronger than scoliosis and I am blessed to be able to do as much as I can with it. as for my future with it? I see myself running a 5k and continuing to prove that nothing can hold me back. Can surgery be in the future? Yes. But I can deal with that when the time arises.